Motherhood: I’m nervous and that’s OKAY!
How is it possible that I have only ONE more week until I am officially in the final stretch, the third trimester?!? Things are moving so so fast!
As you may have been following recently on my Instagram or have seen in my previous bump date post, I have been feeling a little more pregnant as of recent. The second trimester will definitely be missed for this reason. I loved feeling more like myself (just with a little bump in tow) and having wonderful energy. I walked almost everyday, made sure to fit in about 5 workouts a week and kinda felt like wonder woman.
HOWEVER, as my feet and hips ache and my lower back cramping up at the end of the day I can graciously say that this wonderful trimester is coming to a close. Its getting REAL people! I am actually realizing now that this beautiful girl growing inside me will soon be here and to be honest, I’m a bit scared about it.
Im nervous about the labor. I am afraid of the pain, the whole process in and of itself. Will it go smoothly? Will my baby be born healthy? Will I need a C-Section? What if something worse happens?
I’m nervous about the aftermath as well, the healing, the post birth hormones, the breastfeeding and most importantly, the fact that I’m going to be a MOTHER. Will I know what to do? Sure I’ve cared for plenty of babes during my time as a teenage babysitter but this is different. This time this “kid” will be mine.
And lastly, I’m nervous about the total and complete change about to be brought into my husband and I’s marriage. For these past 5 years of dating and marriage, its just been him and I (and of course, our zoo of animals). How will we handle the late night wake up calls, the crying, the new person in our lives who may steal our attention, the attention we’ve had for one another? Will we be okay financially? Will we be able to make it work? What steps will we make to keep ensuring that one another is still felt loved?
For me, its not very easy writing this post because I’m not the type of person who likes to admit fear or seem “weak.” I like to put on a good face for others and try and keep thoughts like these to myself. However, what has empowered me to put myself out there is the exact reason why I created this blog. I wanted to create an outlet where other women can relate. I want to create a community where other mamas can vent, see they aren’t alone and ULTIMATELY will gain strength through knowing this.
As a first time mom, these nerves are completely normal and I know this but I have a feeling that this may not hold true for other moms-to-be. I imagine that there are probably many mamas out there feeling this way and feeling down on themselves and guilty because of it.
Being nervous and scared about this upcoming change in life IS NORMAL! We are about to go through something greater than we have ever experienced and despite what your situation is, I don’t think any person can ever truly feel ready. Motherhood, from what I’ve gathered, will be a time like no other. It will be a challenge, it will be exhausting, but most importantly it will be the greatest gift.
Feeling nervous doesn’t mean you are a going to be a bad mom or that you aren’t excited for your little bundle of joy. Those nerves are just another way of showing love for your babe and family. I want everything to be perfect just as anyone else does. I want the best for my little one and for my husband. Nerves are just part of the package, I guess. I like to see them as Gods way of reminding us we are human and helping us stay focussed in the final few weeks.
As I take on the final ~13 weeks, I know that these nerves will probably continue to exist and perhaps even grow. All I can do is just acknowledge it, talk about it and accept it. With anything in life, we can’t always know how things will turn out. I don’t know how labor will go or how the aftermath will be. I don’t know if I will do everything right and can’t say that my marriage will always be perfect. In fact, I am willing to guess that this most likely be the case. All I do know is that I will BE the best I can and DO the best I can. At the end of the day, this is all that matters. Everything will fall where it should and this is what I trust.
So for all you other mamas out there feeling similar, know that you aren’t alone and will never be alone in this journey. They say it take a village to raise a child but I think it takes a village to raise a mother. Motherhood is scary but is most certainly a club that many belong to.
We’ve got this. Believe it in, know that your strong and never forget it!