After we had learned we were expecting, I looked at my husband and told him in the midst of the excitement, not to tell anyone. Just close family but no one else! With such a memorable moment, I remember thinking I had dampened the mood. “Why would we want to hide such fantastic news?” was Keven’s first response. Clearly he had never heard of the whole “13 week” superstition.
So there I went on and explained to him the whole thing about miscarriages. An already not-so-nice conversation to begin with, I continued on to tell him how you are more likely to experience one in the first trimester and that it would be best to keep it to ourselves. I told him how hard and embarrassing it would be to have to tell people, should something happen. He understood and agreed and so we stuck with the plan… or at least we tried.
A few days later, after considering my very words, I thought about the little peanut forming in the belly. How could I not tell people? How could I not think that just because my baby isn’t 13 weeks that it doesn’t count yet? Why shouldn’t I let people celebrate with me or even mourn with me,God forbid, should something happen?
Now while we did officially announce on social media a few weeks ago, most people in our close circle of family and friends already knew. Some as early as 4 weeks. I told Keven, my husband, that I had changed my mind and that I didn’t care if he told. However, the only condition I did have was that the only people we’d be telling were those who I know are dear to us and have been there for us. Those who I knew I could laugh with and most importantly cry with. I didn’t need to announce on social media just yet because lets be honest here, a good 90% of our friends on social media aren’t really our “friends.” They are more like our stalkers, people who only look at our profiles for entertainment or self-validation purposes.
I remember that with so many messages of “congrats” also came many “but should you have told us?” concerns. And while yes, the little pessimistic voice in my head kept doubting the decision, I was steadfast in my stance. I wanted to celebrate my baby, regardless of the risks.
Now, I completely understand that my views may be very different than other women out there but I thought it was important to share. I have never in my life experienced a miscarriage and hope to never do so but what I really hope for with this post is that it start conversation about the topic and make it not such a “taboo.” Life just happens, no matter what. Good and bad things are always going to be apart of our stories so why should we feel embarrassed? Why not celebrate the day, be thankful for all we have been blessed with, and love abundantly no matter how short the time may be?