Guest writer: Sabrina Archibald
When my first born was 15 months old we decided we would try for our next baby. I have some health issues (what we thought was an ovulation turned out to be hyper-ovulation but more on that later) so we figured it would take us a while. Two months later we were blessed to find out we were expecting!
We were so excited, a little shocked it happened so quickly, but ready for the adventure of two under two. Fast forward to my nine week ultrasound and we got the surprise of a lifetime, it was twins. I remember feeling so shocked that I lost feeling in my hands and I hysterically started to cry. While I knew how blessed we were in that moment, fear, shock and a sense of doubt overcame me. How in the world would I be able to care for and afford twins on top of a soon to be two year old?!
My pregnancy consisted of three preterm labor hospital stays, a gestational diabetes diagnosis and a lot of anxiety inducing internet searches. God willing, I had my healthy fraternal boys at 36+5 with no NICU time. That’s when the adventure really started.
For lack of better words, I feel like I blacked out for the first six months of my twin’s life. It was straight survival mode. Long days, even longer nights and I ended up feeling very isolated. Don’t get me wrong we have a village of loved ones and friends that would do anything we asked of them but motherhood can truly just feel so lonely. When we had one baby it was a challenge to get out of the house but three under three, FORGET IT!
Turns out the world isn’t accommodating for twins and a toddler. Grocery carts? One spot for a kid to sit. The trunks of most cars? One spot for a single stroller. Baby carriers? Most of them are made for one baby and the twin ones come with a hefty price tag. So we stayed home. It was easier physically but harder mentally because while I wanted to connect with my people and leave the house, I always regretted getting out. I thought I would never get out of this stage.
I had postpartum anxiety which turned into postpartum rage and saw a therapist for months to help me through it. I followed Instagram moms that made me feel seen and told our family and friends how bad I was struggling and it slowly got better. Then one day it felt like the fog lifted, my babies started to sleep more and I started to feel human again.
The first 6 months were hard, but then it got better. We got out of the house more, my twins started to become more independent and we had more fun as a family. I guess the whole point of this is to share how hard it is to get out of the house when you have littles and to remind myself when I look back at how far we have come. The twins are 18 months now and our three year old is the best big brother. Is getting out of the house still a tough process? Absolutely. I’m not sure if it will ever be easy but if you are in the thick of newborns and toddlers just remember it will get better. In the meantime, find your people where you can! Mom groups, Instagram role models whatever it is, find a way to connect.
My life has changed after having our twins. I’m stronger, more sure of myself and more confident as a mom but that didn’t happen overnight and maybe this story will help other moms who feel the same.
Sabrina is a mom to three littles; Carter 3yrs, Cooper and Cohen 18 months. She is a teacher and husband a general contractor. The live in a small town way up north in California (close to the Oregon border) and love small town living! You can find her on instagram