I haven’t met you yet. In fact, we won’t get to meet for another 20 or so weeks…how crazy is that? But while we haven’t met face to face, I am learning more about you each and every day. As my belly gets bigger, you’re growing stronger and making your little kicks more noticeable every week. So noticeable that even your Daddy got to feel you just the other night for the first time. He was over the moon with happiness when that happened.
Although I know there is still so much we are bound to learn about you, once you have made your arrival, I’m starting to pick up on the first little things that make you so special. For example, I’m starting to learn that you like it when I am move around (as you often jump in with your sweet little kicks), love it when I eat any type of food (especially anything cold or sweet) and I’m guessing based on how you didn’t feel like moving during your last ultrasound (despite our best efforts), that you will be stubborn just like your mama. I’m also venturing to guess, based on the fact that my #1 aversion this pregnancy is almost any and all veggies (something I used to love almost more than meat), that you are going to be a picky eater just like I was when young. But don’t worry my love, I’m happy to make you buttered noodles or plain rice. I know you will grow out of it one day.
These are just a few of the traits I hope you get from me. As far as from your daddy, I hope you gain his faith: faith in life, family and most importantly God. I hope that you gain his cool manner, his go with the flow attitude and bravery to always speak his mind, despite what others may think. I hope for you to get his passion for helping others, for always doing the right thing (even when it may be the hardest thing), and keeping his friends and family on the forefront of his mind so that every decision benefits not only himself, but them as well.
Most importantly, among all these things from your father and I, there is a trait I wish for you above all the rest : That you will know how to love yourself. This is a trait I can’t say I will pass on to you because it is one that I, myself, am still learning. However, I believe it is something everyone is always working on, especially when we live in a very confusing world. A world that can make you question and compare yourself to others.
I want you to learn to be selfish, but in the RIGHT way. I want you to know it is okay to love yourself so that you can have the ability to love others just as well. Selfish, is a word that often at times gets mixed up with negativity. People at times have been led to believe that word selfish is the wrong way to act. When you are only self-serving or self-centered and doing things for your sole benefit and no consideration for others thoughts or feelings, then this is wrong. However, when you are selfish so that you can be self-less, so that you can inspire, help and love others… then this is right. I want you to learn how to the best version of yourself, so that you can create better things, can form better relationships, outcomes, and life.
I want you to be happy in the body you have been blessed with. No matter the differences you may see when compared to others, I want you to know how wonderful these differences are. Become comfortable in your skin, admire your beauty, pardon whatever it is you think are “imperfections” and know yourself. Know what it is that makes you happy and what makes you feel strong. Do more of whatever that is and make no apologies or excuses for it! Beat to your own drum baby girl! Be wild, be spontaneous, be unique. Live in beauty and madness. Live in magic.
I want you to be okay when you are alone. To be able to sit in stillness and silence, yet be content and still feel whole. I want you to always know that you are ALWAYS loved. I don’t ever want your heart to be afraid or be too cautious. I want you to be open to life, to all of its ups and downs (because “downs” will happen) and always be full of faith.
And lastly, I want you to know that your father and I love you NO MATTER WHAT. And yes, I’m sure at some point when you have entered those joyous teen years, that these words will make your eyes roll… but I don’t care. Even when we are being embarrassing parents, arguments happen and doors are slammed, know that those words will never waiver and will always be there to catch you should you ever fall. This is a parents love, and nothing can and will ever change that. It is this love, I hope, that in itself will empower you to always be who you are and love yourself always and always.
We can’t wait to meet you, little one.